Homily for the Kuhn-Bankston Wedding

Cindy Kuhn and Michael Bankston entered into the covenant of marriage at the First Presbyterian Church in Marshall, Texas on December 12, 2012. This text and recording are just the scripture reading and homily. If you are interested in the full service, please contact Michael and Cindy through the church. Congratulations to you and your family on this glorious occasion.

Hear the Word of the Lord from the Book of Genesis, 2:4-7 and 18-24:

This is the account of the heavens and the earth when they were created, when the Lord God made the earth and the heavens.

Now no shrub had yet appeared on the earth and no plant had yet sprung up, for the Lord God had not sent rain on the earth and there was no one to work the ground, but streams came up from the earth and watered the whole surface of the ground. Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.

But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones

and flesh of my flesh;

she shall be called ‘woman,’

for she was taken out of man.”

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

This is the word of the Lord. Thanks be to God.

How many of you remember the 1970’s sitcom “All in the Family”? It has been on TV for so long it’s hard for me to believe the first-run shows went off the air when I was in high school, before you two were even born! Between TBS, TV Land, Nick at Night, and now Antenna TV—not to mention local channels showing reruns—there probably hasn’t been a time in the last 30 years that “All in the Family” was completely off the air.

Anyway, I wonder if you remember an episode when Archie was talking about how women were inferior to men using this passage from scripture. Archie railed on and on about how woman was just a helper. She is just a part of man. She is less because she was taken from a rib, which is a cheaper cut of meat. That is when the studio audience laughs at Archie’s bad theology and stubbornness.

I suspect we Texans also laugh knowing that with a good rub, proper smoking, and maybe a decent sauce, ribs are legendary! Those Yankees from New York City just don’t know the value of a slab or ribs.

I beg your indulgence, as members of this congregation Cindy and Michael know that I can wax poetic about the Old Testament text in its original Hebrew and that’s what I’m about to do. There’s a word in our reading, helper. It comes from the ancient word “ezer.” It’s where we get the word Ebenezer. It means, “The rock is a helper.” It’s where we get Gideon’s father’s name Eliezer, “My God is a helper.”

Other places in the bible use this word when two kings join together. They plan and fight great battles. They make right great wrongs. They share victory. They share. One King is not greater than another; they are equals among the greatest peoples in the world.

This word that we read as helper is hardly the submissive woman and cheap cut of meat Archie Bunker tells us about. The word we read as helper is not a servant, not someone who is a second to Adam’s first. She is bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. They are a part of each other. The Lord created all sorts of companions for the man; but none were suitable, none were even close until the man was introduced to his ezer, his helper, his equal.

It has been an honor and a joy to meet with Cindy and Michael preparing for the wedding. They have taken time to talk about their hopes. They have talked about their dreams. They have shared what they pray for the future of their family, their wonderful blended family. They have shared dreams for each other. They have shared dreams for their children. They have shared their hopes for the future. They met as two people and now share these aspirations as partners, equals among great people. What’s the word? Ezer? Suitable partners.

Yes, when I look at Michael and Cindy I see suitable partners. Our lives are not Eden, not by any means. There are challenges. There are obstacles. Yet what do I see? I see a family and I see the glory of God. I see two loving parents. I see their kids. I see their family. I see their friends. In the midst of a world that is not Eden, I see love, faith, compassion, care, and joy. I see their joy in the Lord and in one another.

So friends, join Michael and Cinty, take a look at your family with you this evening. See your suitable partner. See your ezer. See the glory of God. And remember, like good ribs we must be seasoned properly, smoked just right—not too much heat, we don’t want anything to get burned— and maybe a little saucy…

Archie Bunker wasn’t much on good biblical theology or Texas Bar-B-Q. He would never consider that a rib is a suitable partner, it’s always at your side and it always protects your heart. Just a rib? Just a helper? Indeed, in Christ there is no such thing as “just.”

Let us pray…

Merciful and gracious God

who provides his children with their most suitable partner,

bestow upon Michael and Cindy your blessing;

granting them grace to fulfill with pure hearts and steadfast action

the vows and covenants they are about to take.

Guide them in the way of righteousness and peace

that loving and serving you with one heart and mind

they may be enriched by your everlasting love.

In Christ’s name we pray, Amen.